[rudra]

nice. i think i will like anything you write [till the day i suddenly feel tired of it and shout at you.. fk off you old prune. enough tongue wagging already.. but then i often get tired of not getting tired of reading... its like.. oh god, how much more do i need to read to not want to read all the similar shyts. haha ].

here are some things i would really like to read more on from you..

your life..like real anecdotes and stories. i suggest you hide the true names of people and places. i want to know how the normal life is like there..in your youth and now. what you miss. what you like. what was great or worst then and what changed and what remained the same. all that..

how does music > getting laid coexist with your wife/parner finding out > pulling all your hairs out ? hehe...

these are all very personal questions. intrusive. i think here is where the magic of internet lies. it is very easy to talk about personal things and feel the warmth of closeness and friendship without feeling naked the next morning when you are sober. what i get from it ? well, i have always liked to know about people and places. i want to know how we think, decide, choose, function. what motivates us. what makes us so different and what are the common threads in humans. you know, it has always been at the front of the questions i like to ponder over. what makes us keep going ? even though we all know that its all going to end in ashes and nothing matters [except the fools and nutbags incapable of introspection ].

by the way, i dont drink or take drugs. like ever. my body is my temple. one thing i have discovered is if i am healthy and fit, no matter how bad thngs are, i can easily choose to be peaceful and content. see, i didnt write happy, cause i think "being happy" as a goal in life is overrated. it is more a struggle. Being content is not stopping the search for more or better. it is simply a mental discipline to not want. it makes the simpler finer details of life to come to sharp focus. the simple pleasures are the most important.

what you think about life and purpose and meaning...all the philosophical thing that go through your mind.

pretty much whatever you want to tell, i want to read... all i request is please dont try to think what i might want to hear. write what you want to tell...

Here i will stop. take care.

re. i hate what i write. i speak even less. why so many i? im full of it.