[KGIII]

please write more. write whatever you like and as much as you can. i will read. you have a way with it.

I did warn you, way back in the top post, that I'm a pretty prolific poster. It's what I do. 'Snot like I've got a whole lot more to do, I'm pretty much retired. Well, I keep obligating myself to stuff, but in theory I'm mostly retired.

I'm not sure what you want to know about, but that's okay. I told you, I'm a writer!

I will write about music.

As a performing musician, I'm actually given great honers. See, what do you do when you go see a live music act?

Hint: You emote. You feel something.

When I perform, people are paying me money to control their emotions. I can make the crowd laugh, dance, sing along, and sometimes even cry. People give me that much power over their emotions.

Granted, they're usually intoxicated. 'Snot like people go watch live music acts and stay sober. No, not the kind of people I tend to play for. They're usually pretty drunk.

See, I'm a trained classical guitarist. That's my guilty pleasure. I've been paid to play pretty much every other kind of music but classical music! I've played everything from country music to improv jazz, to blues, to 80s hair bands. In fact, I once played for a band that did the schools.

That's right... I used to play in a band that went from school to school and told kids not to do drugs. I was wasted the entire time. The irony is not lost on me!

Drugs and alcohol are an occupational hazard, when you're a musician. Seriously, learning to play the guitar is indicative of a lifetime's worth of bad choices. It's the truth. Pretty much every musician I know is a fuck up. Seriously, our lives are a mess!

If you don't believe me, find a guitarist that's performed for more than 15 years. That stupid son of a bitch will drive 200 miles in a snowstorm, in a car with no heat, to play a gig that pays him $50. He ain't right in the head. Trust me. I know these things.

(S)he will have accumulated a box of worthless guitar pedals. They'll have at least five broken amps at any one time. I pretty much guarantee they have a collection of not just very expensive guitars, I guarantee they have a collection of worthless guitars. They do, too.

We don't make much money. Only a very small percentage of musicians make more than minimum wage exclusively from their musicianship. The average, for the best of them that have been in the industry a long time, tops out around $68,000 per year. That's just middle-class in my country.

That's averaged against the stars that make millions. Musicians are poor. They work ungodly hours. They get treated pretty poorly. It's a horrible industry to get into.

I love it. It's the audience. I love to perform - I'm doing so right now. Right now, I'm doing it with words. I'm the consummate entertainer. I can juggle, yo-yo, do a bunch of illusions, etc. What? It gets me laid!

No, in all seriousness. I appreciate that people give me money and say, "Make me emote. Make me feel something. Make me forget my work. Make me forget my stress." And, for a little while - a time altogether too short, I make them emote. I make them feel. I make them sing, dance, drink, and I even get half them bastards laid -- it's drunk people!

Damned right...

It's simultaneously both the worst and best job possible. However, if you're already retired you get to demand a little respect. ;-) The band I currently play with is a regional cover band. I refuse to spend more than one night in a hotel. We do high-end, high-production covers. We do fairs, halls, corporate events, festivals, that sort of thing. I seldom play in a bar and I don't even carry my own guitars to the stage.

I got it pretty cushy with the band. I'm old. They're young. I'm teaching them how to make a living with their musicianship. I'm not teaching them to be rock stars. I'm teaching them to eat better than ramen noodles. I'm teaching them to make a median income for that particular niche, and to do so without touring - 'cause touring sucks. Seriously...

Don't go on tour with people you like. You will hate them at the end of it. I already told you, we make bad choices! You don't want to spend all day, in a smell bus, with the same person you're forced to play with. We are not clean people. We're pretty much a walking petri dish of viral and bacterial infections.

It will make drugs awfully appealing. It's an occupational hazard and nobody pays for our health insurance. So, don't even get into music performing unless you can afford to be really picky. Otherwise, it pretty much sucks and it's good only as a second source of income. If you're lucky, it'll pay for your near certain drug habit.

There... I wrote some more for you. It seemed the thing to do. (I'm pretty stoned and should be sleeping. Where I live, pot is legal.)

[rudra]

nice. i think i will like anything you write [till the day i suddenly feel tired of it and shout at you.. fk off you old prune. enough tongue wagging already.. but then i often get tired of not getting tired of reading... its like.. oh god, how much more do i need to read to not want to read all the similar shyts. haha ].

here are some things i would really like to read more on from you..

your life..like real anecdotes and stories. i suggest you hide the true names of people and places. i want to know how the normal life is like there..in your youth and now. what you miss. what you like. what was great or worst then and what changed and what remained the same. all that..

how does music > getting laid coexist with your wife/parner finding out > pulling all your hairs out ? hehe...

these are all very personal questions. intrusive. i think here is where the magic of internet lies. it is very easy to talk about personal things and feel the warmth of closeness and friendship without feeling naked the next morning when you are sober. what i get from it ? well, i have always liked to know about people and places. i want to know how we think, decide, choose, function. what motivates us. what makes us so different and what are the common threads in humans. you know, it has always been at the front of the questions i like to ponder over. what makes us keep going ? even though we all know that its all going to end in ashes and nothing matters [except the fools and nutbags incapable of introspection ].

by the way, i dont drink or take drugs. like ever. my body is my temple. one thing i have discovered is if i am healthy and fit, no matter how bad thngs are, i can easily choose to be peaceful and content. see, i didnt write happy, cause i think "being happy" as a goal in life is overrated. it is more a struggle. Being content is not stopping the search for more or better. it is simply a mental discipline to not want. it makes the simpler finer details of life to come to sharp focus. the simple pleasures are the most important.

what you think about life and purpose and meaning...all the philosophical thing that go through your mind.

pretty much whatever you want to tell, i want to read... all i request is please dont try to think what i might want to hear. write what you want to tell...

Here i will stop. take care.

re. i hate what i write. i speak even less. why so many i? im full of it.

[KGIII]

what you think about life and purpose and meaning...all the philosophical thing that go through your mind.

I can't answer all of them in one night. That'd take chapters and tens of thousands of words. I've had a lot of fun.

Which leads me to an answer to this portion.

I'm very much a 'without the struggle, there is no struggle' kind of guy. I like to think of myself as being best described as a horrible Buddhist, and certainly not a monk!

However, I differ in some areas. To me, what good is karma if you can't spend it? My atoms will be used again, because that's how the universe works. I will no longer exist, or at least no evidence suggests I will reincarnate. So, I'll just be dead.

That doesn't scare me. I have no fear of death itself. I'd like my death to be quick! I'd like it to be painless! I've had a fun life. I don't regret half the things I should regret. (I dropped those burdens, long ago.)

I guess I can be summed up as knowing I'm human and picking between my desires, with the suffering that comes with it, but I try to do so at a manageable level. I am a human, after all. It is the same reason why I don't fear death itself.

[deanhills]

@rudra looks like you're digging for depth of character - not sure I have any hehe .... I'm relatively on the same page as @KGIII. When I die I'd prefer it to be quick and painless with no burden on others.

I agree with you that health is very important and am curious what you are doing to stay fit. Are you practicing any sport or lifestyle fitness programme? I probably need to be more active, but where I live there's gale force wind for more days than there are good days. I can probably eat better. Do you practice vegetarianism?

I see myself as quite a boring person as I don't like to get involved in big dramas. I prefer things to be peaceful so never go out to make big waves. Closest to giving my opinion is here in the post4host forums. It's as about dramatic in my life it gets. I'm more or less at a fork in my life where I had to make a major decision in between countries. it's been going on for three years, and looks as though it's falling on Canada. So next year is going to be huge in trying to find employment in Canada and adjusting to a cold climate. Hopefully the Universe will be able to open up something for me somewhere.

[Khadeer143]

Why you asked this stupid question lmao ? Why all active again why not any thing wrong we got more sponsors more more vps p4v giving us a lot to interfere in return why should we not be active ? Many holds vps here they r here to be active and posts more comments threads to be active

[rudra]

@KHIII
thanks for the share. i am not asking to write your autobio on p4v on a single page in one day (but i would read if you did..one page or 100 and one day or 100). you can write more about yourself any time you want to and i would read.

@deanhills
same goes for you. thanks. what you may not know is i read most of your writings. i am a stalker for those of you who write good prose about themselves and life.

i think i might choose to slap a case on a prize committee if they announced my name (a poobel for taking the longest fattest stinky-est poo in the past couple of decades, which helps promote world peace by forcing half the people on earth faint including those isis bastards ) without asking me beforehand and ask them to keep silent and only send me the money if they did. lol. i like my privacy very much. but i love to listen to others and i also share when specifically asked...name address details withheld.

it has more to do with my lifelong effort to understand how our mind works. i mean yes, we might find out some fundamental algorithms...some autonomous and some semiconscious ones...that give ai the power to do things like humans. but what is there to make them do if we are not there to press buttons ? what is it that makes us do ? when and how some people just lose all wish to live and do ? how some religious groups willfully do it ? all that you know....all that and more.

i am surprisingly on the same page with you two when it comes to death.

[Manal]

You might have created your a/c for some offers, those who have the interest to keep up to date about offers and need a VPS won't forget this site now, especially some old providers retired from their service. I think you will stay active after you receive your first VPS from here. Actually, the domain "post4vps.com" is easy to remember.

I have visited this website so frequently that whenever I type "P" in my URL box, Post4VPS comes first before any other websites starting with letter "P".
The reason behind this is the community. I have been very much fascinated by this community and familiar behaviours. So yea, we all are families.

[KGIII]

@KHIII
thanks for the share. i am not asking to write your autobio on p4v on a single page in one day (but i would read if you did..one page or 100 and one day or 100). you can write more about yourself any time you want to and i would read.

I have a music blog/site that's a little inactive right now, for a variety of reasons. I'd have to elaborate, but I'm pretty sure nobody cares. (Nor should they.) That has tons and tons of my writing on it. To share it almost feels a bit spammy.

If you're really curious (and there's a lot of personal information there), playguitar.gq is mine. I am not going to bother to link it. I already shared one of my URLs in this thread! It's written in an informal manner and the goal is to educate people about music, specifically the guitar.

However, it's also got tons of personal information that I don't mind sharing.

I will explain why it's fairly inactive. I'm busy with other projects and I'm pretty injured right now. Allow me to show you...

I was involved in a rather spectacular car accident.

I not only broke the strongest bone in my body, I broke it at the strongest point.

If you're squeamish, do not click these links:

https://imgoat.com/uploads/73ce398c39/159390.jpg

https://imgoat.com/uploads/6409663226/157807.jpg

https://imgoat.com/uploads/6409663226/157820.jpg

Which explains, a little, why I'm back on post4vps.com! I'm back because I'm laid up and need something to occupy my time. So, I'll do a free VPS and make some sort of project with it. I'm still not sure what! I'll think of something.

[rudra]

haah ! i didnt know that was the strongest bone in our body ! though now it seems logical and trivial too. aam, how did you break it at that weird point ? it seems your leg was forced to move to an unnatural position. i am not an expert. seems the socket or cup is broken, no ? or both ball head and socket ? noo. that would be even weirder.

thanks for the link. i bookmarked it. i dont read stories involving family, relations, social drama anymore. except when they are biographical...that is non-fiction. fiction may have a kernel of truth, but the purpose is not truth but entertainment or passing some worldview, moral of the story or some such. biography is essentially a subjective account too...but i expect it to be better at presenting the true events.

now i wish you good health and slow recovery (he he ..me being selfish). take care

[KGIII]

haah ! i didnt know that was the strongest bone in our body ! though now it seems logical and trivial too. aam, how did you break it at that weird point ? it seems your leg was forced to move to an unnatural position. i am not an expert. seems the socket or cup is broken, no ? or both ball head and socket ? noo. that would be even weirder.

thanks for the link. i bookmarked it. i dont read stories involving family, relations, social drama anymore. except when they are biographical...that is non-fiction. fiction may have a kernel of truth, but the purpose is not truth but entertainment or passing some worldview, moral of the story or some such. biography is essentially a subjective account too...but i expect it to be better at presenting the true events.

now i wish you good health and slow recovery (he he ..me being selfish). take care

If you look carefully, it's only broken in one spot - but the break was rather impressive. I was involved in a very high speed car accident, as a passenger. The car was torn into a few pieces and we went through a few obstacles.

I went by ambulance to a hospital. I'm pretty remote, so that was quite an ordeal. The first hospital did some imaging and decided they weren't qualified to treat me. They also decided that there was a serious risk of major internal trauma.

To put that in perspective, I had bruising on 80% of my body. I broke some ribs. I have hairline fractures in a number of other bones. I was in the hospital for a couple of weeks and had in-home nursing staff for the first two weeks of being home. Fortunately, insurance will cover this stuff.

Anyhow, the femur snapped against the harness (the car didn't have regular seat belts, it had racing harnesses - it was a Mustang GT350, if you're curious and into cars). At least we're pretty sure that's what broke it.

The "only" break was right there where the femur takes the sharp turn into the ball part of the bone. It broke right there at that point and there were a number of fragments that needed to be cleaned up.

I'm stuffed to the gills with strong opiates, still. They keep me pretty drugged up, though I'm slowly cutting down on them.

I do gruelling sessions of physical therapy. That sucks. That's almost worse than the pain from the break - and it is exhausting, both physically and mentally. I'm actually about a month ahead of schedule with my PT, so there's a good chance that I'll be in the 20% that make a full recovery.

Yeah... Only 20% make a full recovery. 50% make a partial recovery, meaning they need a cane or crutches, whatever. 30% actually end up in an assisted living center - even in my age range. It's a pretty traumatic injury.

I don't fret about it. I'll get better, as much as I'm able. The PT sucks, but pain and work don't really scare me. My goal is to run again. I will run again, even if I have to lumber and it hurts!

Either way, it doesn't define me. It's not really important. It's just another story in a long story that is my life. It's all good! I'll heal and, in the meantime, they keep me stuffed with drugs!