[Manal]

LOL Why not? I'm not doing anything better this morning.

This next site is much, much better. The images at the top scroll by too fast for me to really copy and paste, but I didn't see any glaring errors. So, that's fine.

Again, starting from the top and working down.

We will skip the images that slide sideways.

"With a highly optimized cooling system, the heat generated from our metal boxes won't effect the environment! All the heat is cooled down in our room."

That's pretty rough reading.

"Our highly optimized cooling system keeps the temperatures under control and doesn't just release the heat into the atmosphere. We're helping to keep the environment safe!"

That tells them what, why, and what the benefit is.

"Easy-To-Use cPanel

Do you find it difficult to manage your website? Well, our Easy-To-Use cPanel powered service will get your work done in no time!"

Change to:

"Is your website difficult to manage? Worry no more! Our easy to use cPanel control panel will help you work efficiently and with confidence."

"Well-Tracking Analytics

Searching for a service to track your visitor's behaviour? Our built-in analytics will get you the accurate analytics for your website."

I assume that "Well-Tracking" is a typo? Change to:

"Web-tracking analytics!

Our built-in analytics will get you accurate metrics for your web sites. You can optimize your sites and improve sales by knowing where your traffic comes from and how they use your site!"

(That's the verbiage I'd use. Again, you tell them what it is and WHY it is a benefit.)

If you ever work in sales, remember this: "Features tell, benefits sell." The feature is what it does. The benefit is why it helps you. How does it make your job easier? How does it improve your life? Those sorts of things.

"We use a powerful cluster of web servers that are all interconnected to act as one giant super computer. This technology is years ahead of most other hosting companies. Combining the power of many servers creates lightning fast website speed. Not only is the service extremely fast, it is resistant to failures that effect 'single server' hosting, used by most other free and paid hosting providers. If one of our clustered servers were to fail or have a problem, your website will continue to run normally using the working servers!"

Change to:

"We use a powerful cluster of servers that are all connected, acting as one super computer. This technology is light-years ahead of the competition and far exceeds industry standard practices! By combining the power of many servers, we ensure your websites are always fast and your customers are always happy. If one server in the cluster should fail, you website remains online so that your customers can always reach you. We're proud to offer better services than other free and paid web hosting companies."

That one is a little sketchy but might work better. The initial language seemed way over the top and needlessly complicated. The potential client wants to know why it is a benefit to them. Make it simple for them to understand.

Either way, that site was significantly better than the first one! The English was much easier to read and didn't look too bad, even to a native English speaker. Good work!

Thank you once again! +REP for your work(once more). You really giving our suggestions like a paid freelancer would give if asked from platforms like Fiverr,etc. But you did it for FREE! Thanks once again.

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Sorry to be too much greedy. But can you please do it for shadownethost.com(cuz thats my prime focus ). If not, it's okay. You've already helped me alot.